Like You Mean It
by Astarael00
Summary: One shot. A conversation. They say actions and photos are more important than words, but they have never listened to Nanoha.


"_When I was younger," she said with a wistful smile, "I used to stretch out my hand and try to touch the sky, even though I knew it was impossible."_

_"If you knew you couldn't reach, why...?"_

_"Because it looked so lonely, way up there."_

**Like You Mean It**

_Say it. Smile._

"Like me," she whispered.

"Fate-chan? Did you say something?"

The blonde gave her friend a faint smile. "Actually, I was wondering about something…You don't have to answer if you don't want to, and I understand if there isn't an answer at all, but-" Fate was cut off by the pleasant but uncalled-for sound of her friend's laughter.

"Fate-chan, Fate-chan, calm down. I'll tell you anything."

And there was the smile. Oh god, the smile. She would kill for that smile, or die for it. Maybe even live for it.

Fate sighed and then took a breath, as if to reinhale her usual calm.

"I was wondering…why, all those years ago, you wanted to be my friend."

There was a long pause, as The Smile slipped from Nanoha's face. Fate watched with unconcealed nervousness as it was replaced by something that might have been melancholy. Or maybe Nanoha couldn't quite remember. Or maybe she was fighting off stomach cramps. Fate had a hard time reading her sometimes, especially while nervous.

"Your eyes," said Nanoha finally.

Fate reached up to touch them self-consciously, but was thwarted when Nanoha captured her hand midway.

"You had the saddest eyes I'd ever seen," the brunette continued calmly, as if they weren't holding hands right near the part of the park where most c-..."and the kindest."

At that, Fate's eyes snapped up from the ground to meet Nanoha's. Her face was nearly their shade of red by this point.

"How-" she cleared her throat and tried again, "How could you see kindness in…_that_? I fought you. I _hurt_ you. And I…left."

"You hurt yourself more than me, each time." Nanoha's voice was soft but clear. "I could see it in your eyes, how much you didn't want to be doing any of those things. You were trapped."

Fate opened her mouth to protest, but Nanoha shook her head.

"By love," she continued, "but still trapped. I didn't…I couldn't imagine getting between you and your mother, but if things had turned out differently, I might have."

She paused, mouth in a tight line, and looked down at their joined hands for a moment.

Then, "She was _hurting you._ She was making you hurt _yourself_. And then _she threw you away_." Blue eyes burned.

Fate closed hers.

Then, summoning courage and confidence she didn't used to have, she released Nanoha's hand and pulled the other girl into a hug.

"I forgave her for that," she whispered softly. "And I forgave her for leaving. She just wanted to see Alicia again. And I…could never be Alicia."

"No," Nanoha answered fiercely but at the same volume, "You are not Alicia. But _you are her daughter and she should have loved you_."

Fate released her and stepped back. Looking Nanoha straight in the eyes, she smiled slightly and said, "I am not her daughter. I am her daughter's failed clone."

The brunette stopped breathing. Eyes wide, she stared at Fate's increasingly blurry smile. A moment later she was crying silently, eyes closed and head down.

Fate pulled her back into a hug, confused beyond all reason. Wasn't that the truth? Wasn't that almost exactly what her- what Precia had said, those few years ago? It had come as a shock to her at the time, of course, but Nanoha knew about it already, so…why was she crying?

She nearly jumped as Nanoha suddenly began to hug back fiercely.

Then, next to her ear, in the most serious tone Fate had ever heard her use, she said, "You are not _anyone's failed_ _anything_."

Fate was still confused.

Somehow Nanoha felt that. She pulled back, wiped the tears from her face with a sleeve, and grinned at her through the ones remaining in her still-watery eyes.

"Actually, you're my greatest befriending success."

And then, all seriousness again, "Please stop believing that you are less than human."

Red eyes looked blankly back at her, and an equally blank voice answered, "But I'm not human. I was born and grown in a test tube, with a scientist for a parent. I had no childhood."

Nanoha shook her head, drying the last of her tears. "Having a childhood doesn't make you human. Having or not having parents doesn't make you human. And being forced to do things, even bad things, doesn't make you non-human."

"But-"

"You loved her. Your mother. …That's why I wanted to be your friend. I could tell from the very beginning that you weren't doing anything out of hate. I wanted to know what the real reason was. How you could look that sad, that hurt, and still be that determined."

She took a deep breath.

"Honestly, I hated Precia Testarossa."

Fate blinked slowly. Nanoha gave a slight smile at the expression, and continued, "I couldn't understand how she could hurt someone so badly who loved her so much."

Then, when the other didn't respond, quietly, slowly, "I guess…I wanted to be your friend…because I thought then I'd have a right to help you. I wanted to pull you from your lonely path in the sky. Or fly next to you."

If Fate had been speechless before, she wasn't even thinking in words now. She just stood, motionless.

Afraid she had gone too far, Nanoha reached for her, taking one of Fate's hands in two of hers.

"Fate-chan? I'm sorry."

The next minute was the longest year of Nanoha's life.

Then the blonde's hand squeezed. Nanoha's attention shot to Fate's face; the girl was smiling, red eyes softening from their hard dullness.

There it was. Fate's eyes were beautiful, but what had drawn Nanoha to them most was the hint of something that wasn't pain, or even kindness. She hadn't known what it was, or why she had such a burning curiosity about it, but somehow it had become the most important thing in the world to bring it out.

She had done everything for a smile she'd never seen.

"Thank you."


End file.
